Derrick Paris
17 years old
Residing in Los Angeles
Dancer/Actor - Performing Artist
Personal Blog
Other blog - http://b3arr.tumblr.com
it’s funny how life works, isn’t it?
we’re born, live a life not knowing anything about any bit of our future. always told “you must create your future yourself, you must take action to make change” but what if something unexpected happens? what if you’re so sure everything’s fine and everything going well, then bam..disaster. Something goes awry and nothing’s according to plan.
We live, then we die. And for some reason it just doesn’t sit well with me. Lately, a lot of the time, I just think…”What’s the point? I’ll be dead someday, why does this matter?” But the point is to make something of the time that you’re given. And try to make the most of it. It sucks that death is something that’ll never be escaped. It’s the most terrifying thing to me. And it’s what keeps me up at night.
I hardly use this blog, but I need an outlet aside from my other one to just talk and release my feelings. I need to feel better & I need to be at peace with how the way works, otherwise I’ll just drive myself into insanity. And what’s fun about that?
-Hi.
I never post here.
Bye.
-I haven’t really posted on this one much lately.
Well….it’s been a while. And all I can say since the last time I’ve been on is……I’ve become very scandalous. Whoops.
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I haven’t done a good rant in a while.
Friends make me upset. This is why I’d like to basically have acquaintances. Because, you think someone is your ultimate #1 bestfriend. Then, it changes. I mean, sure I might be overreacting. But when you expect something, then they go back on it, what do you expect? You expect your friends to be there all of the time. And it sucks when you’re proven otherwise. I’m sure this will all blow over within the next few days. But for now, I am still upset. You can never be too sure about someone, because when you least expect it, things will do a 180. So disappointing. Friends are just….well, friend is such a strong and powerful word. Has so much meaning to it, if you’re considered to be someone’s friend rather than acquaintance, don’t take it for granted. Cherish the friendship’s you have and do what you’d expect a friend to do for you. Be a good one.
-I haven’t masturbated in over a week. What.
Is there something wrong with me? There must be something wrong with me. I don’t even want to either. What. I don’t. Whatever.
-It just doesn’t feel like the Holiday Season anymore. It hasn’t for the past few years. Like….today is Christmas Eve. I feel like it’s just Saturday. I wonder if this is something that we feel as we get older, or if it’s just something that’s been recently going on. I miss the old feeling of being so excited and feeling extreme angst for Christmas, for just the season. I hate that I can’t feel the joy for the Holiday season any longer, I miss being a kid with the greatest excitement for this.
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